nanofreak (nanofreak) wrote in mitzvahjourneys,

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I'm a bad Jew

Yup, I said it. I am trying, but I am a bad Jew. I am on a serious mission to better myself, and it is something I have wanted to do for a while, but right now that's what it amounts to.

I am 32, I was brought up in a reformed home. In my family we went to synagogue until I was Bar Mitzvahed, me being the youngest. That is also when religious school stopped. I do not want the same for my children. Currently we belong to a Conservative Synagogue, with for the most part a pretty traditional crowd.

We keep Kosher to the extent that I am able to. I know many will say that this doesn't count, but being a single parent of 3 without an unlimited income it can be hard.

Well, I am trying right now to find my way to being more observant. To being a better Jew. I know it is a very important part of me, and I try to instill in my children how important it is for them.

Myself I have so many ways I need to improve in being more observant, and it truly is a goal for me. I feel robbed by my parents. I can't read a lick of Hebrew, I feel lost in services so much so that it makes it harder to attend. I feel like everyone notices how bad of a Jew I am. I feel a lot of shame about it honestly.

Anyway, I guess no real questions here. Just a first post from someone joining the group.
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